"My mom, she knows everything about me. Even the things I don't know about myself... I think before pa ako magsalita, my expression, she already knows how I feel."
— Dani Ravena on her mom, Mozzy
***
(Part 2 of 3) Dani Ravena has received a lot of advice from her mom, Mozzy.
For one, she reminds her to always strike a balance between having fun and being responsible.
"It has to be balanced. 'Yong rule niya lang is to always have my priorities in check," said Dani.
Time management is important: first, when she was still a student-athlete, and now that she is working professionally as a volleyball player.
She had to make sure to prioritize her studies and that she was never late for her volleyball practices.
"Time management. I always hear [from her] na you can enjoy, but at the same time, hindi mo nabibitawan 'yong number one: academics. Always number one. Student-athlete, so kailangan, student comes first. So, number one niya is to make sure na I get my grades done, I'm always attending my classes," said Dani, a former Ateneo Blue Eagle.
"Number two, 'yong volleyball ko. I avoid being absent or being late. As I got older, until now sa professional level, I avoid really being late, being absent. That says a lot about you and how you work and your work ethics, 'yong small things."
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Dani could also seek her mom's wisdom when it comes to her love life. She says that she could discuss about this topic openly with Mozzy, whom she described as a mother who willingly adjusts to the differences between their generation.
"Some are really, siguro, takot silang magsabi ng, you know, personal things about their life. But ako, lahat ng boys, all the people whom I talk to or my dating life, she knows," said Dani.
Mozzy chimed in: TMI.
"Minsan too much information, lahat sila! All three!" referring to how open her three kids Kiefer, Thirdy and Dani are to her.
Dani went on: "I need her approval. With random people, I just [ask her], 'Uy, Ma, cute ba 'to?' Tapos sasabihin niya, 'Sino na naman 'yan?' Parang ganoon na si Mom: 'Ano ba, Dani!' and I'm like, 'Hindi, friend [ko] lang [siya].'
"'Yong mga ganoong fun banter. It's like a banter with a best friend."
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'For my parents, my mom who believed in me'
When it comes to volleyball, of course, Mozzy, a former volleyball star from the University of Santo Tomas could offer Dani the best advice.
The younger Ravena revealed that there was actually a point where she felt that volleyball was pushing her away, with people discrediting what she had achieved in the sport and saying she did not deserve those.
She admitted that all the negative talk does affect her mentally. But all she had to do was look inwardly to find her purpose: she is doing this for her parents, for her dad, Bong, and her mom, Mozzy, who believe in her.
"'Yong mga times na medyo ayoko nang mag-volleyball. I felt like volleyball was pushing me away. As an athlete, I feel like everyone will go through that phase na no matter how hard you sacrifice or you work, there's always a lot of things and people who will say na you don't deserve it. Of course, I'm only human, so sometimes napupunta talaga siya sa utak ko and sa head ko na, maybe, I really don't," said Dani, her voice cracking as she repeatedly wiped the tears that welled in her eyes.
"But when I do forget my supporters, I feel like the only thing that I keep in my heart and in my head is my purpose, which is not only for me, but also for my parents, my mom who believed in me since the very beginning."
With all the outside noise, Dani has her mom as her voice of reason.
Mozzy advises Dani that she should not let go of the sport that she truly loves. Instead, she must keep working hard and pouring her best efforts because she deserves to fulfill her dream.
"'Yong mga days na feeling kong hindi na ako mahal ng volleyball, I always remember na I love volleyball too much to let it go. She's the number one reminder na if you really do love it, you really have to hold on to it," said Dani, as her mother quickly added: "And work hard."
"No matter if napi-feel mong bibitawan ka ng volleyball, doon mo lang lalong ipu-prove dapat na mahal mo ito. And mas gusto mong mag-exert ng extra effort para maipakita sa sarili ko saka sa lahat na deserving ka where you are, and you deserve also to live the dream kasi nga you worked hard for every single thing that you have now," added Dani, drawing a smile from her mom.
The mother-daughter duo is well aware of the bashing, especially with every comment being magnified on social media.
Dani, who has successful sportsmen as parents and two brothers who are also accomplished athletes, will not be spared from comparisons and criticisms.
But Mozzy still tried to understand the fans' point of view.
"Alam mo naman 'yong fans. Minsan siguro may mga pinagdadaanan din. They would have their moments, so may napagdidiskitahan," said Mozzy.
"I don't know how they find joy sa mga ganoon. But nevertheless, we cannot control it naman."
Mozzy just keeps it simple when it comes to her approach with all the negative talk that is being thrown at Dani: the fans do not know what really happens behind the scenes.
Mozzy, the team manager of Akari of which Dani also plays as a libero, said that her daughter does not receive any special treatment, and her teammates could see that.
"Ang nakakatawa talaga sa team kasi minsan kapag nag-uusap kami, they would say na, 'Grabe, no Tita Mozz? Kung alam lang nila, mas parang anak mo pa kami rito sa team.' Joke namin sa team 'yon," said Mozzy.
"Hindi nila (fans) alam na ganoon. So ako naman, I find it, 'Ah, okay, at least that's how the team feels.' Kasi never kami na parang may extra kay Dani. Never."
What matters is that there is no issue within the Chargers because they are the ones who know the real picture.
"Kasi ako, if it doesn't affect the team and the team knows naman how she works, how she does extra in all of that," said Mozzy.
"Hindi nila nakikita naman sa training, hindi naman nila nakikita how it is, who works harder, who works extras."
Mommy Mozzy thus tells Dani that she should not let all these negativities get to her.
"Minsan siguro, siyempre, naa-affect siya. Sinasabi ko lang na if they're not here at practice and they don't see what's happening, then how could they..." Mozzy trailed before proceeding to explain.
"Let's say, may isa siyang mali sa game, they will focus on that or ilang mali sa game. But they will never focus on the nice ones. So huwag mo nang [pansinin] 'di ba? I mean, how can you even let that affect you?"
Mozzy then turned the emotional conversation into a light-hearted moment, joking that she and Dani are bonded forever as mother and daughter, and nothing can be done to change that.
"Saka wala na akong magagawa. Mommy niya ako, anak ko siya. Napamahal na siya sa akin," said Mozzy, eliciting laughter from both.
Dani quipped: "No choice na kami."
To which, Mozzy added, "So no choice na kaming dalawa, 'di ba? Ganoon lang."
Mozzy then turned serious again, reiterating her advice, just like any mom would do.
"Sinasabi ko nga sa kaniya, wala namang sagot diyan. You just work harder and play better. Ganoon lang naman talaga 'yon," said Mozzy.
(To be continued)
With reports from Kiko Demigillo; Photos by RM Chua, assisted by Xander Cipriano and Kiko Demigillo; Hair and makeup by Maria Becar Austria; Produced by Kristina Villanueva